3 practical ways to build a better relationship with your Dad

Today is my Dad's birthday and this year I am doing something different for him.


When deciding to write this, I saw two options. I could send a few short words and the photo capturing an important moment for my family and this would have made my Dad's day. The other option was to openly share a few words about the father and son relationship that I have developed with my Dad. A relationship that is continuing to improve with time but one that encountered challenges that were most notable throughout those years when I was stumbling through the transition from being a boy to becoming a man.



"A relationship that is continuing to improve with time but one that encountered challenges that were most notable throughout those years when I was stumbling through the transition from being a boy to becoming a man"


My choice has been to go with the second option and I am doing this for two reasons. Firstly, I believe in the significance of being able to press pause on the times in life when everything is going well. This type of pause allows recognition of the nature of the relationship with my Dad and it also encourages continual momentum to a deeper & stronger connection. 


"I know that many of you are consciously or unconsciously wrestling with your relationship or the lack of relationship with your Dad"

My second reason isn't about me. Instead, it is for you. I know that many of you are consciously or unconsciously wrestling with your relationship or the lack of relationship with your Dad. This is a massive problem and it directly leads to emotions like anger, abandonment and disengagement. While this is how the feelings are felt, an inability to identify and then manage or cope with these emotions leads to alcohol, drugs, violence and a withdrawal from the relationship. 


"An inability to identify and then manage or cope with these emotions leads to alcohol, drugs, violence & a withdrawal from the relationship"


Ultimately, the need for a better relationship is what you want and here are some practical points that I have learned:

1. Try changing the lens for how you see your relationship with your Dad. It is probable that you have a fixed idea about the things you didn't or don't get from your Dad. See what happens when you change this to see what he has given you?

2. Evaluate your "buy-in". How much are you really giving or putting into the relationship to change it? 

3. What lessons has he taught you that directly benefited you? When thinking about this, consider that these lessons may have been demonstrated through his actions as well as his words. 


Love to hear your thoughts or reactions to this and if you see my Dad hug him and wish him a happy birthday for me. 


#MentalHealth #MentaliIlness #Parenting #OnTracka #OnTrackaApp #Resilience #Teenagers #Fatherhood

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